I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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