Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
