I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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