she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
