at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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