Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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