I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
