plz talk dirty to me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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