My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
