Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
