I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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