I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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