You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
