NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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