What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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