Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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