This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize