All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
