im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
