are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
