Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Randomize
