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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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