you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
