Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
