So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
