That's when you crack a 10am beer
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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