i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That reminds me...we need to get swords
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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