You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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