You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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