So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
