I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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