you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will be naked everywhere
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
