I hate all girls vehemently.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
