I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
