you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
