i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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