What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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