The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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