I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
