her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I touched a dick in church today
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
