i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
