we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My balls are so social today.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
