I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
