When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
