i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
