A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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