I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is wine microwaveable?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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