We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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