Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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