i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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