i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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