Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
