so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize