Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
