New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
