weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize