just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
