Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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